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Monday, 07 December 2009

  • The Wall

    When I have the time, I spend part of my lunch break up in the chapel because it's very peaceful and rarely occupied by anybody else.  It had been a few months since I was up, as my lunches have generally meant waiting for the food to heat up in the microwave or spending time walking to and from a nearby fast food joint.  While 45-minutes is plenty of time to get and eat food, it doesn't leave a whole lot of time for anything else.  However, with the Christmas concerts out of the way, I could take a full hour for lunch (and probably some) each day this week while we still stay open in the evening as I don't have to chip away time to attend choir rehearsals.  Thirty minutes is plenty of time to sit in the chapel, meditate, and rest a little before the afternoon's work.

    So, I went up to the chapel.  I figured there'd be someone up there studying and/or praying fervently for their finals, or perhaps some folk gathering to enjoy some quiet moments together in their final days before going home for the Christmas break.  It's difficult to decompress and relax when somebody's up there needing the same space I do.  Thankfully, there was nobody up there, but some of the lights were on.  I went to turn them off, but I hadn't taken two steps before I noticed the box of crayons, the box of colored pencils, and paper sitting on a little table with the book about the Kenneth Wyatt paintings.  There was also a copy of Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest.  Nearby was a podium with a list of student missionaries and a small stack of newsletters called Prayer 24/7.  I remembered about some of the stuff that BSM wanted to do that was prayer oriented.  They had been using the chapel for some of that.  But why the colors and paper?  So maybe people could articulate their prayers through drawing?  I didn't think anybody would leave anything behind, though.  Real prayer tends to be awfully personal...

    ...and then I turned to turn out the lights, and saw all the post-its and papers on the wall around the painting of Jesus.  The papers had long, written out prayers with some artistic expression.  The post-its had all manner of prayer requests, from the small and mundane to the earth-shattering, life-destroying kind that take you aback with a whispered, "Oh, my God...!" escaping your mouth.  Most of them, however, were in between.  Problems of all kinds, some I've never had to deal with, and some I have.  Some I still do.  It was humbling to stand there and read every one.  Some folk identified themselves.  Others remained anonymous.  Young and old.  Their worries, their fears, their desires, bared for us all to see so that we could pray for them on their behalf.  People struggle, just like I do, but I would never notice it until I saw something like what was before me.  People wear their masks well.  I should know, I keep mine on sometimes even when I'm by myself.

    Almost by instinct, I grabbed a blank post-it and a pen from a stack laid on a little table, and I wrote a request of my own, and signed it in a way that was recognizable only to a very few select people.  The request I posted was simple, yet complex.  Short, yet spoke volumes.  Something I've desired and had a few times, but have had to live without for much of my life.

    No, it wasn't for a girlfriend or a wife.  Nice try, though.

    After adding my voice to the wall, I really want to find the people who put up their needs and give them a hug and a word of encouragement.  But, that didn't seem like a good way to do business.  It'd be a little creepy, actually.  "Hi, I found your prayer on the wall up in the chapel and decided to track you down!"  Alas.  Instead, I gave my prayers for these people.

    I think my time of blogging silence is nearing a close.  But I must wait a little longer before I start writing again.  And, I also need to take the time to write privately, so that the things I want to write about that are very personal stay that way.  I think I will close this blog down soon and start anew elsewhere with a clean(er) slate.

Saturday, 10 October 2009

  • Back

    Long time no blog.  I made so much useless noise that I didn't see a point in it anymore.  Writing without a point is, well, a huge waste of time for everybody involved.

    So, since my last real post about 2.5 months ago, I've moved to a new place in town.  Costs are split three ways, which makes it rather afforadable.  It's another duplex, but this duplex is a standalone house, not part of a complex.  The gentleman we rent from is very straightforward and takes no bullshit.  From all I can tell, he's a pretty good guy.

    The only other major event was recently getting diagnosed with arthritis and possibly Ollier's Disease, which have come about because I don't have a car and have to walk to many places.  Apparently, walking a few thousand miles over the last ten years will put a little wear on the joints.  As for the Ollier's Disease, it's a condition of having several benign tumors around or near joints of long bones.  The doctor found them on my ankles and right knee.  At best, I'll be making periodic checks with an orthopedic specialist to make sure they don't do anything.  At worst, one or more will turn malignant, requiring surgery to remove them.  Chances of that are low but still significant.  The disease is rare, but not particularly life threatening.

    I don't regret not blogging for the last few months.  I needed to stop making so much noise and be still.  It's easier to contemplate and think that way.  I'll update as often as I feel like again, rather than force myself into daily posts.

Monday, 10 August 2009

  • Words meme, compliments of captainq

    Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

    1. Curtis

    To my recollection (which is far from perfect, but it's all I have), I have known three people with the name Curtis, all three I have met through WBU.  One was a guy covered in tattoos who seemed like a really great guy, but I never saw him around much, but I remember he was highly spoke of.  The other two are friends of mine. One a soldier in the army whom I got to know up until he got his Master's degree and moved out of state years ago.  Great guy, pretty timid, but hard working and full of lofty goals that I think he is very well capable of achieving.  Also, gifted musician.  The man is full of complexity that's difficult to notice, much less delve through, because of massive fortifications that usually keep out unwanted guests from his inner self (i.e. damn near everybody).  The other Curtis is a fellow worker for Wayland who is obviously a mass of complexities, but employs mechanisms that are much more slippery and full of trickery to keep out all the unwanted guests from his inner self.  In many ways, he's a complete antithesis of the army Curtis.

    2. Fun

    Fun is subjective.  What I find fun others will find dull, drab, or even a complete waste of time, and vice versa.  Generally, the things I find fun are things that spark my imagination: games, shows, music, and books.

    3.Writer

    A writer must be well disciplined to be effective in his/her craft.  I have not been all that disciplined, preferring more instantly gratifying pursuits.  A horrid failure indeed.  Despite the intent to do otherwise, there are way too many shinies I turn to look at.

    4. Honorable

    If I say I have honor, I'm quickly given examples on how I have not had honor.  If I say I do not have honor, I'm quickly given examples on how I have had honor.  Following a code of honor, especially when you don't really know what that code is, is a rather tricky thing, and sometimes it's even easy, convenient, sometimes even necessary to completely ignore it, and sometimes, even that would be the honorable thing to do.  Doing the honorable thing isn't always as simple and as easy as it looks, and I sure haven't done my utmost to do so.

    5.Trustworthy

    I have a very open blog.  One might make a conclusion that I'm a open book waiting to be read, but I liken it more unto an iceberg in dark waters.  Yeah, you can clearly see it's an iceberg, but what isn't so clear is how very little is actually sticking above the water.  That is all you need to know.

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

  • Friday at the reunion

    Despite being fairly busy, last weekend was perhaps one of the more restful ones I've had.  I had last Friday off so I could attend my 10-year high school reunion in Stratford.  Because it's just plain cheaper to do so, I stayed my nights in Fritch, a good 1.5 hour drive away (as long as I don't make a stop for anything).

    However, the reunion didn't start until Friday evening.  My folks came down to pick me up Thursday night.  That left a good bit of daytime to kill.  Well, the morning was killed because I slept in until around 11:00.  It was very nice.  This was followed by lunch at Subway and some time with the television.

    This was the first time I got to watch the Price Is Right in many, many years, and while I knew Bob Barker had stepped down as host, I did *not* know that Drew Carey had been hosting the show.  Now, Drew Carey just doesn't have Bob Barker's style.  However, he does have the guts to do a little slamming on the prices.  At the beginning of a round, when the four people have to bid on an item, they paraded a very sleek, nice looking cell phone around, and it came with a year of service.  Now, all four people bid prices that they've seen on cell phones before, prices ranging from $300-500.  When Drew pulled out the card with the actual retail value, he spluttered and said, "Are you serious?!"  The thing cost $3500!  What the hell?!  I'll take the crappy cell phone and get an astoundingly powerful gaming box instead!

    Anyways, Price Is Right.  Good fun!  Watched some more TV, then my stepmother and I embarked on a time-honored ritual that usually takes place every time I visit: the bowling match.  Not too long back, a new bowling alley/gaming center/bar and grill was built in Borger, and it's every bit as good as Western Bowl in Amarillo (though with fewer lanes, but c'mon, it's Borger).  It's also much closer.  The first game we both did terribly on.  The first two frames were nothing but gutter balls.  We haven't played in a while, so we needed a good practice game to get us on our feet again.  I managed to win that one because I got lucky at the end with a double on the 8th and 9th frames.  After that, my stepmother won the next two games by about thirty points.  I think I broke 100 on the third game.

    Once we finished with that, it was about time for me to take off.  So we head back to Fritch, unload the bowling stuff (we each have our own ball and shoes), and I prepare to take off.  I have my iPod, I have one of those devices that pumps it through the radio, I have drink, I have the other necessary items for traveling, it's time to go.  The drive was uneventful except for a stop at the Wal-Mart in Dumas to withdraw money from my bank so I can pay for my share of the activities.

    Stratford is a small town located in the northernmost part of the panhandle of Texas.  It's located basically on the intersection of U.S. 54 and U.S. 287 and also at the intersection of two major railroad lines.  My family moved there at the end of spring break in 1997, after a 2.5 month stay in Dumas that ended as a result of bad landlords.  Before then, we lived in Carlsbad, NM, for nearly eight years.  To say that Stratford was a change is to make gross understatement.  I went from a class of a few hundred to a class of 41. (I know I said 42, but it was disputed at the reunion, and I went back and counted.  It's 41.)  It was probably the best thing to happen to me before I left home for college.

    However, my family moved from Stratford to Borger in May 2000.  I had only been through once before in the summer of 2004 on the way back from Spence's wedding in Wyoming, and a few things had changed then.  Unlike my brother, I haven't made periodic trips to Stratford to see what's going on and see how people were doing.  I had lived in my own world in Plainview.  It was kinda nerve wracking to suddenly jump back into the past and make contact with these people again.

    But it didn't turn out so bad.  However, I was one of the first people in my class to show up at the hamburger dinner Friday evening, and that ended up a good thing on my part because while the organizers of the event (which included all the classes having a reunion that weekend) thought of how to serve a few hundred hamburgers, they didn't think of efficiency, or even getting enough head start so they didn't run out of hamburgers halfway through and have to have people wait in line while they hurriedly cooked more.  Some folks were standing in line for an hour.  I did get to see a few faces there, but as the crowd grew, so did my desire to get out.  After all, I still don't do crowds well.

    There was a get together at a classmate's folks' house.  It was just for our class, and that was much more pleasant.  It took place in a beautiful back yard, and the night was clear and beautiful.  I got to catch up with several folk who I had wanted to see again, enjoyed a few beers (which appeared to have been anomaly, because Chris never drank in high school (the fools, little do they know!)), and got to see several little ones running around.  It's interesting to see the party still in some of them, and interesting still that the party was tempered with the maturity that only parenting can do.

    Yes, I was asked about my wife and kids.  I wish now I had thought up some sort of BS story about the nonexistant bunch.  Somebody even asked me if I had a girlfriend and kids.  That would've made for another great BS story.

    Towards the end of the night, there was a spectacular explosion in the other side of town.  Apparently, an older woman crashed into the lumber yard near the general store.  She made it out that ok with some scratches, but you don't know that when you're not near the source of the crash.  We were only in the dark for five minutes, however.  This is Stratford, after all, and by the time somebody called for information, the news was all over town.

    I kinda like the semi-anonymity in Plainview.  If somebody dies next door, I probably won't know about it until three weeks later.

    And thus was Friday evening.  I drove back not long afterwards and crashed in Fritch.

Sunday, 26 July 2009

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